Negotiation is a fundamental skill for any lawyer, yet few devote enough time to honing this critical capability. After over 20 years navigating high-stakes deals as both private practice attorney and head of an in-house legal team, Sunil Choitram shares his top three tips for effective negotiation. Though seemingly cliché on the surface, his insights reflect hard-earned wisdom that can elevate any lawyer’s ability to secure favorable outcomes.
1. Be True to Yourself
When first learning negotiation, it’s natural to emulate the styles of senior lawyers around you. However, Sunil advises developing your own approach that aligns with your inherent strengths. “Making it in this sense means being comfortable being yourself – speaking in your normal voice and in your usual tone,” he explains. Rather than a machismo persona, authenticity fosters trust and rapport with counterparts.
Sunil recalls a senior female partner diffusing a rowdy room of aggressive male bankers, not by shouting louder but by waiting patiently to speak in her feminine cadence. Her natural style commanded their attention and respect. “Pretending to be someone else will be spotted a mile away and could be seen as a sign of fear or worse, disingenuousness.”
2. Seek Win-Win Scenarios
Popular Harvard Business School negotiations course features an enlightening exercise: two parties hold “peace” and “war” signs, earning a point if both show peace or one shows war against the other’s peace sign. Initially cooperative, eventually one defects, triggering retaliation until continuous war.
This demonstrates reframing success not as defeating counterparts, but collaborating for mutual gain. As Sunil explains, “If you can build genuine rapport and trust with your counterparty, they are more likely to look for ways to collaborate both in this negotiation and in the future.” Fostering connections unlocks possibilities, whereas destroying relationships risks business. “You get further in life with a handshake and a smile.”
3. Hone Communication Skills
Mastering less obvious abilities like matching counterparts’ tone, pace and body language fosters subconscious synchronization. Whether opposite someone or over videoconference, displaying engaged posture and interest signals you value what they say. Equally, avoiding filler words through slower, deliberate speech conveys thoughtful confidence.
With accents or second-language use, focus on comprehensibility over perfection. “Be comfortable that you might make grammatical mistakes but take comfort in the fact that the other party should appreciate the extra effort that you’re making,” Sunil advises.
Finally, leveraging silence and resisting reaction creates power. Sunil recalls his teacher’s Queen bee story: “If a bee were to land on her face, she would simply ignore it as she doesn’t concern herself with small things and is always thinking about the big picture.” Follow her lead by staying unflappable, thinking strategically, and conveying messages of de-escalation. As Sunil concludes, “There’s great power in silence.”
Conclusion
Sunil Choitram’s decades of legal negotiations have surfaced three essential tips – authenticity, win-win thinking and strategic communication – for excelling in this critical skill. While seemingly cliché, embracing these insights with nuance promises to elevate any lawyer’s ability to secure favorable outcomes. By melding technical excellence with emotional intelligence and strategic foresight, today’s attorneys can truly master the art of negotiation.
